Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to sanitize my soul.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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