Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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