Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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