Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
