eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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