Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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