how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
