Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
