Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
only if we run a train.
done.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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