Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
