Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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