You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
