Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
