we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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