You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize