Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
