you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
