My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
