I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
