just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
