I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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