its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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