i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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