GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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