Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
