3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
