.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
