So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
