Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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