i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
