I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
