okay pat passed out under dana's car
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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