Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
