Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
