i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize