Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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