Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
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