it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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