yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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