this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
