if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
