I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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