my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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