chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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