Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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