i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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