wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize