My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
