Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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