Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
