Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
