Apparently you make a good broom.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
