were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
