Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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