dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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