Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
