no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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