also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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