they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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