it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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