Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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