I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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