Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
