DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
