What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
