I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
