i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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